The Right way to support someone in mourning
How to speak to someone in grief with compassion...
“When I lost my sister, people sent me texts like, ‘Be strong,’ ‘Don’t cry,’ ‘Take it like a woman.’” Ayo explains in the video where she shares about the loss of her only sister to pre-eclampsia, that while these words were meant kindly, they made her feel worse..
That’s why knowing what not to say is so important. Here are some phrases to avoid:
“I know exactly how you feel”
“Be strong”
“Don’t cry”
“Take it like a man / woman”
Grief is personal, messy, and heavy. Sometimes the most meaningful support is simply to sit with someone, listen, and show up without expectation.
Ayo’s experience also inspired the Grief & Support Care Kit, which is designed for anyone navigating loss or supporting someone who is. Inside, you’ll find:
Practical ways to help someone in grief
Curated prayers that brought Ayo comfort during her season of loss
things not to say and do to someone who is grieving